The Four Most Underrated English Words
Hi!
Tonight is the start of the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. It concludes the Ten Days of Awe, a period of self-reflection. Those who celebrate, as I do, often focus on “teshuvah, tefillah and tzedakah,” which typically translates to repentance, prayer, and acts of charity. The first two I’ll not address here, but I wanted to use the occasion to talk about tzedakah, because I think it goes beyond donating money to those in need.
If you visit my Twitter profile (and yes, I’m going to continue to call it Twitter), you’ll see that at the top, I have a pinned post. I’ll put it below to save you a click:
Those four words — “How can I help?” — are ones I try to live by. It’s aspirational and I’m hardly perfect, but I try. At home, at work, and everywhere in between, I see myself as a creative problem solver who aims to make the lives of those around me easier and more joyful. And that’s why I have that posted at the top of my Twitter account — I’m glad to take some of my time to help where I can.
But what I learned along the way is that the question is often more helpful than the assistance.
The last year has been a difficult one for Jews globally. I’m not going to discuss the Israel-Hamas War or the underlying issues here, don’t worry — my newsletter isn’t the venue for such things. I’m bringing it up to share something I’ve experienced personally and I’ve heard many other Jews speak about as well over the past year: the sense that we’re alone. It’s pervasive. It’s gotten so absurd that, just moments after I wrote that sentence and was still contemplating what to write next, I received an email from a Jewish organization (I’m not sure how I got on their list) with the subject line: “No One Stands Alone on Yom Kippur.” I can easily give another two dozen examples but the timing of that one seemed too good to pass up.
I was thinking about this a lot a few days ago, and then, of course, Hurricane Milton struck Florida. Hurricane Helene had also ravaged North Carolina just a week or so earlier. These are problems well beyond what I or any individual can solve, but we can help, often by making donations — charitable giving is important and necessary. But yesterday, I did something else. At the top of my email, I said “If you’re in central Florida, I hope you’re safe! If there’s a way the Now I Know community can help, let me know.” No one asked for help, but one person thanked me simply for asking — it was good, they said, to know that they weren’t alone, and that if they actually needed specific support, there was a way for them to get it — and on their terms. My go-to sentence: “How can I help?” — had alleviated someone’s sense of isolation.
Charity isn’t just about writing a check. When we come across someone who seems to be in need — economically, physically, emotionally, it doesn’t matter — I think we should try to help if we are able. And we should be mindful that our way of helping may not be what they actually need; people who need assistance often feel a lack of agency, and helping them without listening to their needs can actually make things worse. All of that, though, is solved by asking the simple question: “How can I help?” And more times than not, simply asking will solve a big part of their problem.
I’m not asking any of you to offer me help — thanks in advance, but it’s wholly unnecessary. (And my email inbox is already overflowing, so really, please don’t! 😃) I’m sharing this as a reminder to myself of the importance of offering — of asking others, “How can I help?” Over the next year, I hope I can continue to keep that in mind.
G’mar chatima tova to those who celebrate — and really, to everyone.
The Now I Know Week In Review
Monday: Another Brick in the Wall of Prohibition: How to not make your own wine.
Tuesday: The Man Who Didn’t Work For a Living: He outsourced his own job.
Wednesday: The Soda That Went Pop: The problem with glass soda bottles.
Thursday: The Hit Song That’s Actually an Inspirational PSA: He’s the Scatman, but that’s just his superpower.
Long Reads and Other Things
Here are a few things you may want to check out over the weekend:
1) “The Battle Over the Sea-Monkey Fortune” (New York Times, 31 minutes, April 2016). This is a gift link; you won’t need a subscription. The first paragraph is the perfect teaser:
The way the lawyer William Timmons described the case, it was practically a newsreel melodrama, with a helpless widow being menaced by a heartless tycoon. The story began with the widow, whose name is Yolanda Signorelli von Braunhut. She is a onetime heir to the considerable fortune still generated by her husband Harold’s iconic invention, Amazing Live Sea-Monkeys. As her lawyer told it, she was now isolated, cash-starved, often without electricity or running water on a palatial estate on the Potomac River in southern Maryland. Having retreated to a single room in the old mansion, she was prepping for her second freezing winter, barricaded by thick quilts, her bed next to a fireplace stocked with split wood. From this bunker, Signorelli von Braunhut has been waging legal combat against Sam Harwell, chief executive of a big-time toy company whose name seems straight out of a Chuck Jones cartoon: Big Time Toys.
2) “Just how doomed is home insurance?” (Vox, 11 minutes, October 2024). Home insurance is a staple of the American economy — but it may not be cost-effective for much longer. This is an interesting look that isn’t quite as fatalistic as the headline suggests.
3) “I got scammed on Upwork so you don’t have to” (Mashable, 24 minutes, October 2024). I’m a big believer in the “gig economy” — I think it opens a lot of doors — but there are a lot of pitfalls along the way. This is a solid article giving a first-hand account of how some scams work and how to avoid them.
Have a great weekend!
Dan