Miranda Piker and the Chocolate Factory
One by one, each child (other than Charlie) befalls an odd fate. The obese Augustus Gloop, unable to control his love of chocolate, falls into a river of chocolate and is sucked into a pipe — to be made into fudge. Another, compulsive gum chewer Violet Beauregarde, turns into an ever-expanding human blueberry, filling with blueberry juice. A third, the bratty Veruca Salt, was systematically determined to be a “bad egg” (in the movie, literally) and sent off to the furnace. The fourth, television addict (and aptly named) Mike Teevee, shrinks himself in a television transportation device. All but Charlie avoid horrific accident. And all but Charlie are, on their way out, serenaded. Wonka’s pygmy-like servants, the Oompa-Loompas, gleefully marked the occasion of the child’s fall from grace with a song and dance.
Miranda Piker — the straight-laced daughter of a school headmaster — was child number six. Her story did not make the final version of the book. In Dahl’s original draft, Wonka develops a candy which makes the child break out in spots — a fake illness designed to get the child out of a day of school. Piker objects and she and her schoolmaster father storm the room in which the candy is being made. Something explodes and and Piker and her father, per Wonka, are turned into a necessary part of the recipe: “We’ve got to use one or two schoolmasters occasionally or it wouldn’t work.”
Piker’s story was cut as the book publishers believed it to be too gruesome for young audiences. But a few years ago, The Times (UK) obtained and printed the excerpt, replete with the Oompa-Loompa’s song, which can be found here (behind a paywall, though).
From the Archives: The Nazis’ Chocolate Bomb: Horrific chocolate redux.
Related: Dahl’s first book, The Gremlins (the book is unrelated to the 1984 movie Gremlins), is mostly unknown. Available for about $11, it has 4.5 stars on 12 Amazon reviews. Only one is negative (“lacks Dahl magic”). The book was originally commissioned by Walt Disney, as a promotional device for a full-length feature film. The movie was never made.
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